goodbye mvnu

this is the last blog i’ll write from a computer on the mvnu campus.  i’m shutting my computer down and packing it in my car after i’m done writing here.  i’ll miss these late late late night blogs.  i love that life comes in seasons.  i’m sad to leave, yet ready to move on.  i’m excited for whatever god has in store for me next.  i’m ready to write a new chapter in my book of life.  well i guess i’m just ready to read the next chapter that god has outlined.  thanks for all the memories mvnu!  i’ll truly miss being here.

nevertheless

i’m currently taking a class entitled “history and systems of psychology.”  the object of the course is to trace psychology and its development over the past couple of thousand years.  in this class we’re also attempting to understand how humanity has over time tried to answer the quesetion, “what is the self?” 

 amidst dialogue in this class the conversation turned toward the church.  our professor asked us how the church, the present church in american culture, helps develop a sense of self.  students began to criticize different aspects of how church is portrayed to its different congregations.  the biggest criticism that was made was that the church creates the dillusion that the self should always be happy and joyful.  criticisms were rooted in the dislike for different worship songs sang and sermons preached.  the church is apparently too fluffy and disconnected from the reality of the peoples’ lives that fill its buildings every week.  one of the people in the discussion even stated that they often become angery when listening to some of the contemporary worship songs.  some students alluded to specific psalms written in the bible that aren’t filled with encouraging “happy” words but rather questions of doubt and anger toward god.  these students questioned why these psalms are not preached and sung about on sundays.  i left the class with several thoughts in my head.

as i listened to a sermon this past sunday, i was reminded of this classroom discussion.  ironically the sermon was titled “why can’t i find happiness?”  the preacher quoted walter brueggemann.  the preacher said that brueggemann states that “many of the psalms begin with a lament but end in celebration.”  from this observation brueggemann suggests that we always practice what he calls the great nevertheless.  practicing the great nevertheless is realizing that no matter what is going on in life, no matter how awful and dark the days seem to be, one will still “rejoice in the hope of the glory of god” (romans 5:2).  maybe sunday services won’t always reflect the way we feel, maybe sometimes we won’t want to put on a fake smile while we greet everyone who seems overjoyed to be at church.  however, maybe our sunday services continue to teach us to practice the great nevertheless.  it allows us to say “god i feel distant from you.  i do not feel like putting on a smile today as if everything is ok.  god i just want to scream.  i have a thousand questions and zero answers.  but neverthless i will rejoice and find hope because you are still god.”