why me?

“he rescued me because he delighted in me”
psalms 18:19b

comfort and salvation

“i will praise you, O LORD. 
although you were angry with me, 
your anger has turned away 
and you have comforted me.surely God is my salvation; 
i will trust and not be afraid. 
the LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; 
he has become my salvation.”
isaiah 12:1-2 

this passage really encouraged me today.  yes, we have all done things that have angered god, but his anger has turned away from us.  god is our comforter not our condemner.

two loves

“there can only be two basic loves, the love of god unto the forgetfulness of self or the love of self unto the forgetfulness and denial of god.”
-augustine 

this quote reminded me of colossians 3:3 

“for you died, and your life is now hidden with christ in god.”

bitter sweet confession

he who covers his sin will not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
proverbs 28:13

therefore confess your sins to one another praying for each other so that you may be healed.  the prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
james 5:16

blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sin is covered…then i acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity.  i said, “i will confess my transgressions to the lord” - and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
psalm 32:1, 5

the idea of confessing my sin to a friend has become a significant and difficult discipline in my life.  listening to confession has also become a significant and difficult discipline of my life.  in the past week i’ve heard confessions of adultery, hatred, rage, drug and alcohol addiction, pornography addiction, and eating disorders to name a few.

i don’t know if this is theologically correct or not, but as i begin to wrestle with the ideas of sin and shame i’ve come to this thought: sin is the junk that disconnects us from god, shame is the junk that disconnects us from each other.  many may disagree, but this is just the thought that’s currently going through my head.

we all have just bad crap that we’ve done in our lives.  we all have skeletons.  we all have secrets.  god knows them all but people don’t.  i believe that the practice of confessing sin to each other is lost.  talking with students, peers, and adults this past week has shown evidence to this.  rarely do we ever talk about the skeletons and secrets.  we live burdened lives, carrying around guilt and shame.  i believe that the only way to rid yourselves of guilt and shame is to confess them to someone.

in the verses above we find 3 things when we confess our sin: mercy, healing, and blessing.  isn’t that what we want for all of our sin and shame.  lets stop being fearful of judgment and rejection and start recieving mercy, healing, and blessing.

this blog is a little scatter brained, i know.  there’s just so much going on in my head in regards to confession right now.  take whatever you can from these thoughts.

enemies

“but love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.”
-luke 6:35

i think this command really emphasizes the difference between christian love and the worlds love.  everyone loves but how many people love their enemies.  maybe some people even love their enemies, but how many people are called to go and “do good” to them.  i wonder if the church really does this.

last night i was in a small group debate/discussion/argument (depending on what perspective you took on the conversatio) that debated this idea of doing good to those who are your enemies, doing good to those are are not of the same faith.  i posed the question, “is there ever a time in your life where you are supposed to stop DOING good to people?”  i do not mean is there a time that you can stop loving, but can you ever get to a point in your life where you should cease DOING good things for people.

i used two examples.  if you had a friend who was constantly getting drunk and asking you for a ride, do you ever stop giving him rides?  or if you have two gay friends that want to get married and they invite you to their wedding, do you attend or not?

the room was divided.  some stated that yes, you do continue to pick up your friend and you do attend the wedding (as long as the people invovled know where you stand).  the opposition stated that by giving a ride constantly and attending a wedding you’re supporting a sin and that we should never support sin.  i understand both sides.

what i came out of the conversation thinking about though, is that are motives to do good must always be there.  some people believe that doing good would be to not pick up your friend in hopes that he recognizes that what he’s doing is wrong.  the opposing side would say, yes you keep picking him up showing your love that way.  we may all disagree what “doing good” to people looks like, but i think it’s important to be reminded daily that we’re called to love and do good to all people.

and just for fun (if you feel comfortable answering), would you continue to pick up your friend?  would you attend the wedding?  or…does anyone have any other “gray-area” scenarios that i could wrestle with?

the fathers love letter

i read this over the high school students this past sunday. thought i’d share it. it’s scripture re-written in a letter format. it’s god’s love letter to us. i have all the references for each of these statements if you want them.

My Child,

You may not know me, but I know everything about you. I know when you sit down and when you rise up. I am familiar with all your ways. Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. For you were made in my image. In me you live and move and have your being. For you are my offspring. I knew you even before you were conceived.I chose you when I planned creation. You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book. I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I knit you together in your mother’s womb. And brought you forth on the day you were born.

I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me. I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love. And it is my desire to lavish my love on you. Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. For I am the perfect father. Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand. For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope. Because I love you with an everlasting love. My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.  And I rejoice over you with singing. I will never stop doing good to you. For you are my treasured possession.

I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. And I want to show you great and marvelous things. If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.  Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart. For it is I who gave you those desires. I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine. For I am your greatest encourager.

I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles. When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. And I’ll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.

I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus. For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed. He is the exact representation of my being. He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you. And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.  Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled. His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you. I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.  If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me. And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.

Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen. I have always been Father, and will always be Father. My question is…Will you be my child? I am waiting for you.

Love,

Your Dad.

encouraging

i’ve been thinking lately that there is little to nothing i could possibly write that would be more important than scripture. thats why yesterday i posted a passage of scripture, and today i’m posting another passage. i hope you find confidence and encouragement in this passage. i hope you can find hope in god’s mercy and grace. this is probably one of the most exciting passages of scripture i’ve ever read because i can almost hear paul saying, “i’m the worst sinner. you may have done some pretty sinful things, but i’ve done some unthinkable stuff.” don’t we all feel that way about our sin?  yet there’s mercy and grace for us all, praise god!

even though i was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, i was shown mercy because i acted in ignorance and unbelief. the grace of our lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in christ jesus. here is a trustworthy saying that desereves full acceptance: christ jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom i am the worst. but for that very reason i was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, christ jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. now to the king eternal, immortal, invisible, the only god, be honor and glory for ever and ever. amen.

I timothy 1:13-17

what it’s all about

therefore, if anyone is in christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! all this is from god, who reconciled us to himself through christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that god was reconciling the world to himself in christ, not counting men’s sins against them.  and he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. we are therefore christ’s ambassadors, as though god were making his appeal through us. we implore you on christ’s behalf: be reconciled to god. god made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of god.

II corinthians 5:17-21

amazed still

“here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: christ jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom i am the worst. but for that very reason i was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, christ jesus may display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe in him and recieve eternal life.” I timothy 1:15-16

again i’m reminded of just how badly god wants to be reconciled with the world. grace grace grace. mercy mercy mercy. for ANYONE who will believe and follow christ. do we have a passion and desire to share this message with the world? doesn’t this make you fired up to go tell people, “no, you don’t have to be a good person to get into heaven. you don’t have to do anything. you just have to accept grace and mercy and love. god WANTS to be in right relationship with you.” the more i think about this. the more i get pumped up to continue to hound my co-workers at the hotel about it.

if someone gave you a million dollars and told you, “hey, i’m giving out a million dollars to everyone who comes and asks me for it, no catch,” wouldn’t you just go tell everyone? if we really believe and have recieved grace are we taking the next step and telling people about it?

the more i dialogue with the guys and lady (singular) from work, the more i realize how much harder they make life for themselves. in their minds they HAVE to do good things and be good people in order to get to heaven. they believe in a god that requires them to do something to get to heaven. i tell them about the god i serve, follow, and believe and they argue with me. “well maybe he wants to be in relationship with you, but you still have to do good things.” no.

what can i possibly add to god’s grace that will make me more deserving to be in right relationship with him? answer, nothing. what can i possibly do to eliminate my shot at recieving grace? answer, nothing. the best of people and worst of sinners both need a free serving of grace.

get fired up about it. tell people about it. lets start giving this free gift away.

come

there’s a chorus that i’ve been thinking about, singing, playing, and praying a lot lately.

“holy spirit come”

why’s this in my head lately, you may ask?

1) it’s my humble acceptance of god’s desire to be in right relationship with me
2) being filled with the holy spirit is the only way i know i can be in right relationship with other people
3) being filled with the holy spirit is also the only way i know god can work through me

if i read those 3 statements above on someone elses blog i’d think that they were in a good place. i write them from a humble humble humble place. i write them out of desperation and need, not out of any “wisdom” or enlightened state of being. i write them from imperfection and mistakes, hoping god will grant me grace.

thy kingdom come
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven

holy spirit, come so that your will, the kingdoms work, can be done through me for your glory