Love
I recently took a course at school titled “Pastoral Counseling.” Having been a psychology student during my undergraduate training it was enjoyable to reengage with “my roots” of formalized higher education.
The first day of class our professor posed us the following questions: “What would you think of a person if they came into your office, sat down, and confessed that they have a problem with physically abusing their daughter? What would go through your mind? How would you perceive them?”
“Disgusting. Criminal. Abhorrent.” These adjectives raced through my head and perhaps through yours as well.
The ten weeks of that class taught me several new ideas alongside of many practical applications of counseling in the pastoral setting. The cornerstone shift in thinking that course produced (or reinforced) within me, though, was elementary and rather simple: it is difficult to love people like Jesus did. Can you imagine having compassion on the child abuser? Can you picture yourself embracing the pedofile? What about the drug addict that’s ruined his family? How about the pathological liar or thief? The pedigree of such contemporary people was the same as those whom Jesus loved and spent time with during his life.
“By this time a lot of men and women of doubtful reputation were hanging around Jesus, listening intently. The Pharisees and religion scholars were not pleased, not at all pleased. They growled, ‘He takes in sinners and eats meals with them, treating them like old friends.’” (Luke 15:1-3, The Message)
What a great translation!
Often the Church is the single most terrifying place to be self-revelatory. The thought of exposing one’s past “junk” is difficult enough in our communities. Shedding light on current “junk” just seems out of the question. Why is that? We say things like, “We’re all sinners. Nobodies perfect. Jesus loves everyone,” but as soon as you attach (certain) specific sins to the title of sinner the church raises an eyebrow.
Are we able to embrace the sinner (i.e., the abusive parent, the unfaithful spouse, the porn producer, the pedofile, the sex addict, etc.) as Christ did?
I’m not there yet. (Side note: I know self-deprecating statements are often way to “poor me,” but whatever.)
The type of love that Christ has for the father who hits his child is beyond my understanding. I, at times, don’t know how that is even possible. Surely that type of love does not mean condoning the abuse. It does not mean that the person who does the abuse does not need to change. In fact love of that person would mean just the opposite! Love of that person would lead to hope for future change rather than disgust of the present. As Christians we must learn to love and embrace the broken hearted and sinner while they’re broken and struggling with sin with the hope that change (or to use churchy language) and redemption is possible! The effect of love is for another post. The act of love is merely a starting point, but a difficult starting point none the less.
Lord, grow our hearts to love with the same capacity as Christ, and may our love redeem and restore that which has gone awry.
