red card

i received my first one as a coach this afternoon.  i actually received a double yellow, which equates to a red card.  personally, i am shocked that it took this long to receive a card of any sort.  ironically though, this may have been one of the more innocent interactions i’ve had with a referee all season.  allow me to explain and justify my cards.  

it was the second round of cif.  we were on the road at la baptist high school.  the opposing team had been falling (in my opinion flopping) more than usual around the box.  whatever, it’s soccer.  the game was tied 0-0 when there’s a play near our bench where one of my players went shoulder-to-shoulder with their player (and may have grabbed the other guys’ arm a little in order to slow him down…which is a foul), but then the opposing player just falls to the ground.  the referee blows his whistle.  the foul occurred in a relatively dangerous spot for in our defensive third of the field.  i raised my hands in the air and say “really?  he fell on that?” insinuating that the foul wasn’t as dramatic as the falling player portrayed.  

now, i will admit that i am an emotional athlete.  i have, during the course, of this season raised my voice and at times yelled at refs for bad calls.  i do not appreciate my team being put in a position where they could get hurt or be cheated out of a victory.  ask any of my players and probably most of the parents, i have no shame in raising my voice.  however, when i said “really?  he fell on that?” i can honestly stand before GOD and say i did not yell or say it in anger.  i was questioning out of shock that the kid fell and even more so because the ref bought it.

well the ref comes over to the bench, asks one of the other coaches if i’m a coach, and then walked over to me and raised a yellow card in front of me.  i was honestly shocked.  i responded, “for what?  it was a terrible call.”  this was probably an unnecessary point to make, but i did not feel i had warranted a yellow card.  i also cannot stand refs who think they’re the ultimate authority on the field.  (many of them fail to recognize that they’re in a position of service more than power.)  then the ref grabs his red card and raises it in front of me.  

i was utterly confused at this point in time.  i kept asking the ref, “for what? for what? for what?”  the only response (which he repeated every time i asked him “for what?”), which i received in return was “you need to leave the stadium now.”  he didn’t speak with anger or a raised tone, that i will give him.  i walked away just baffled at what took place.  i was kicked out of the game for disagreeing with his call and letting him know it.  i didn’t scream, curse, or pester him questioning his call.  i said, “really?  he fell on that?” which resulted in yellow card number one.  followed up by, “for what? it was a terrible call,” which resulted in yellow card number two.

it must have been karma.  there’s no other reason why i was kicked out of that game.  my vocalized  frustrations with all of the bad refs i’ve seen this season was bound to catch up to me eventually.  (side note: i can’t stand how bad high school refs are out here.  it really does kind of disgust me how great a percentage of them ruin games.)  anyway, thats my story.  my only guess of why the first card was handed out was if when i said “fell on that” the ref heard something different, something vulgar.  maybe not screaming clearly hurt me in the long run haha.  regardless, it’s embarrassing, but it’s life.

what did i learn?  i didn’t learn anything new, but was reassured of one life lesson i’ve grabbed hold of the past few years, “you can only control yourself.”  my snide comment after the first card warranted the second.  sometimes it’s better to bite your tongue and be humble than rebel against authority.