so if you guys don’t know, i work at one of disney’s hotels as a valet. spectacular job for any college students by the way. it’s quick, easy, good money. that’s beside the point though. most of the people i work with aren’t christians/jesus followers. so i like to engage them in conversation about life, religion, or anything that could give me the opportunity to “witness.” so i was talking to this older gentleman; his name is dennis. dennis is probably in his mid-50’s or so. that’s over double my age, so that seems old. but when i really think about it, dennis could live another 40 years. so he’s just over halfway done with his life. guess 50 isn’t too old. anyway, so we were talking about church and what not. i invited him to our easter service at parkcrest. he declined because he lives in anaheim hills. so i was trying to manipulate him into coming down to long beach for a service some weekend (always an excellent way to get people to church haha). he declined, declined, and declined my invitations. so i started thinking about some churches closer to his home. he still declined.
he then asked me if i ever spoke in church, if i ever gave a sermon. i told him i had a few times, still something i’m learning about. he told me the only way he’d go to church is if it was to “rhaz” (or tease) me while i spoke. i immediately accepted his offer. i told him i could always use some honest, raw, objective thoughts to better the art of public speaking. he then told me that he really didn’t want to come to church, but he left the door open for an opportunity to witness to him. he told me that he would like me to record any sermon i give, burn it on a cd, and give it to him to listen to and criticize.
at first this idea terrified me. i’m not the greatest speaker in the world. in fact, i’m so limited in experience i’m not to good at all. i never took a preaching class. it’s not one of my strongeset gifts. and now this guy, who’s not a christian, wants me to burn those talks onto a disc for him to give me pointers on. freaky!
then this second thought came through my mind. can i really ruin the message of jesus christ? some of you are probably nodding your heads right now, thinking “yes, yes you can.” but really, if the only way to get dennis’ attention on jesus at some time during his week, month, or even life is by recording some of my silly talks, then so be it. i told dennis i would just sit down and record stuff for him to listen to even if it wasn’t a live sermon. he said he’d listen to it. i told him i would burn sermons from other people onto a cd for him. he said he wouldn’t listen to it. so i’m thinking i’m going to take dennis up on his offer and record myself sometime, burn it on a disc, and hand it to him. who knows, maybe i’ll just type out a sermon done by francis chan and then reading it onto a cd and giving it to dennis to play off as my own.
all that to say this, i’m not going to spend my life not witnessing to the world in fear of someone’s critcism about my speaking or writing ability. i’m going to take old man dennis up on his offer. i hope he’s ready for anything the holy spirit wants to do in his life.
i was just listening to francis chan’s easter sermon. he alludes to this televsion moment that’s one of the most intense things i’ve ever seen.
how many of us will admit to all of our sins, mistakes and yet still think we’re good? listen to francis’ sermon to hear his whole message. it’s really good stuff! (click on “francis’ sermon” to get the direct link to the podcast on itunes).
i was listening to this song quite a bit today. it’s very unique. it’s called hide and seek by imogen heap. thought i’d share the lyrics. quite a few people have heard this song. but i’m unsure how many people have sat down to sit and look at the lyrics. here they are:
where are we? what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just began to fall
crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling
spin me around again and rub my eyes
this can’t be happening
when busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy
hide and seek
trains and sewing machines?
all those years they were here first
oily marks appear on walls
where pleasue moments hung before
the takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still alive
hide and seek
trains and sewing machines? oh, you won’t catch me around here
blood and tears they were here first
mm what you say
oh that you only meant well, well of course you did
mm what you say
mm that it’s all for the best, of course it is
mm what you say
that IT’S JUST what we need, you decided this
mm what you say
what did she say?
ransom notes keep falling at your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no i don’t believe you
you don’t care a bit you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
my time doesn’t equal my time. my time equals god’s time. i’m learning just what surrender means. it’s about a moment by moment surrender for me, small increments of time. it’s easy for me to forget about surrender after a few hours, let alone an entire day or week. a friend of mine recently told me that the priorities of a persons life can be seen through the way they choose to spend their time and money. the way i spend my time would probably tell a lot about what is truly important to me. it’s a good mirror for me to look at to see what truly is important in my life. i’m learning what it means to surrender my time. every second, minute, and hour of my day needs to be spent in surrender and submssion to the will of god.
today was freaking AWESOME!!!! it’s weird that i posted a comment about everything spinning yesterday because today was just terrific!
some of the high schoolers, a parent, jessica, and i went down to a preschool called precious lambs this morning. precious lambs is a non-profit organization that provides free pre-school for mothers who are homeless and are trying to get back on their feet and women who are in dire need of daytime childcare for free. so basically we took the high schoolers down there to just hang out with these 3 and 4 year old kids for a couple hours. it was freaking awesome!!!
i met fernando, layla, nathan, elijah (or e.j. he liked the shorter version better), monty, maria, and a bunch of other little ones today. i’ve never had so much fun playing unorganized tag in my entire life. it was the first time i’ve ever seen kids WANT to be “it.” they only wanted to be it though so they could tag one of us older people so we would chase them around the playground. so i may have very well been tagged to be it by about 1 - 8 kids at the same time. it was pretty sweet. i never knew i could be outrun by 4 year old girls so easily. no joke, i was dripping sweat and breathing heavy trying to chase these kids around, and they would just be laughing and smiling, having a good old time while i fell over from exhaustion.
i’ve never been the best person around young children. today was a different story. i want to go back soon. i think i’ll be able to volunteer some time over there since i work mostly in the evenings. i’m sitting here in my heated house, writing on a computer wondering where some of those kids are at right now. do they have a home to live in? if they do, is it heated? i was told that a lot of the children have been exposed to domestic violence already. they’re 3 and 4 years old!!!! are any of them seeing a man hit their mother right now? did they get to eat tonight? i think i’ll go back next week. someone please hold me to it. in fact, if you have time and want to tag along let me know. once you see these children smile you’ll never be able to say no. the name of the preschool is precious lambs. i can’t think of a more fitting description for such beautiful children. i was there to hang out with these kids, hopefully brighten up their day. i think everything was flip flopped today though. these children hung out with me and brightened up my day. who knew a 3 year old who likes to play tag could be such a blessing?
my world has been a haze since i’ve been home. i’m reminded of a game i used to play in junior with a quarter. i’m not quite sure of the technical name of the game, but the object of the game was pretty simple; keep the quarter spinning. my friends and i would gather in a circle. one of us would take a quarter and spin it on it’s side similar to that of a top. the person next to him would than have to flick the quarter with his finger just lightly enough to keep it spinning. then the person next to him would repeat that action. we’d go around flicking the quarter until someone messed it up and it stopped spinning. then u’d start it all back up again.
the best time to flick the quarter was when it began to slow down. sometimes you could flick it while it was spinning fast, but i always had the greatest success when the quarter wasn’t spinning too fast. i feel like that has been my life since i’ve been home. i’m spinning, spinning, spinning, from not having settled completely down quite yet. everytime i feel like life is finally starting to slow down just a little bit, it’s as though i get flicked again and then everything just begins to spin and spin and spin all over again. even when i’ve had my few moments of peace, where the spinning has stopped, it just starts back up again haha.
a few weeks ago i probably would’ve written about how i want things to slow down and just stop. i don’t think that’s the case anymore. for some reason or another i feel like god has my attention best when i’m spinning, when i feel like i’m getting out of (or getting kicked out of) the drivers seat of life and become nothing more than a passenger. i hope god continues to make my world spin for a while longer. granted, every once in a while there’s peace, which i need. but the spinning seems to remind me of who’s ultimately in control.
i can’t stop listening to this song. especially these lines:
i’m right here before you
asking on my knees
that my life would be something
and not just what i dreamed
isn’t that what we all thirst and hunger for? my significance comes from god (heard that in a sermon a few weeks ago). i want my life to be of something significant to god, not something that i think will make it significant. god make me something, anything that is pleasing to you.
some lyrics by a friend of a friend called paul stephens. i’ve been thinking about them a lot lately. he comes out with an album april 13th. (click his name to check out some of his music.)
i’m right here before you
asking on my knees
that my life would be something
and not just what i dreamed
that i might find favor
in mercy and grace
in the eyes of my savior
in the light of your face
lord as i offer everything
i pray that my life would make you pleased
that i might move mountains and wake the sea
oh, that your light would shine through me
