sacred-secular

this is a topic i’d like to write about more extensively when i have more time.  for about the past couple of weeks or so i’ve been thinking about how inaccurate it is to believe in a sacred-secular distinction.  i find it a very sacred/spiritual thing to enjoy laughter, fellowship, and conversation.  it’s just as spiritual as reading my bible.  that’s a bold statement.  i might eventually take back that comment.  however, the more i think about it, the more i believe it.  at least for now.  i need to stop distinguishing between what is and what isn’t sacred/spiritual.  everything is spiritual.  my entire being and everything i do is (or would it more accurately be said as “everything can be” ?) sacred/spiritual.  anyone have thoughts on this?

so i was just going to end this blog with the short above paragraph.  however, this is why i’ve been driving my “brewing” on this idea.  i often feel “good” about my “spiritual” life if i have extensive scripture reading and prayer time in my day.  sometimes i feel guilty if i do nothing but a short 15 minute devotional.  that’s so messed up!  (especially when i have days where i might not have a “devotional time.”)  shouldn’t all of our time be devoted?  anyway, that’s another question for another time.  back to the original point.  the bible doesn’t specifically provide us with a list of “spiritual activities” and “non-spiritual activities.”  why do we create one?  more to be said when i have time….

goodbye mvnu

this is the last blog i’ll write from a computer on the mvnu campus.  i’m shutting my computer down and packing it in my car after i’m done writing here.  i’ll miss these late late late night blogs.  i love that life comes in seasons.  i’m sad to leave, yet ready to move on.  i’m excited for whatever god has in store for me next.  i’m ready to write a new chapter in my book of life.  well i guess i’m just ready to read the next chapter that god has outlined.  thanks for all the memories mvnu!  i’ll truly miss being here.

11 great memories

less than two weeks left of life in ohio, possibly forever. i can do little to resist reflecting back on my adventure here in little old mount vernon, ohio. there are far too many memories to recount in a single blog. i thought i’d share some of the ones i will most remember, that aren’t too personal to share. (so if i left out a significant memory with one of you readers don’t think i forgot. i’d simply rather keep that one for my own memory bank. Or i think we might get into trouble for it haha.)

here’s my list of “11 great memories” from my college experience. i was going to do a list of ten memories. ten seems like a pretty normal number. everyone has top 10 lists right? i’m not everyone. so i’ll make my list 11. it’ll make me feel a little bit different (even thought it means absolutely nothing haha). since i’ve been in college so long i’ll put 2 memories from each year (the 10) and one final one.

1. (freshman year) many may laugh at this but my roommate freshman year will definitely be a memory for the ages. on the surface we had a “distant” relationship. we were extremely different and ran with two different groups of friends. but in those late hours at night we shared many personal moments. being both from out of state we had much to converse about late at night. we were far closer than most people would’ve ever thought. i miss those moments.

2. (freshman year) the last week of freshman year, after finals were over. those last days may have changed my life. i was relatively sure i wasn’t going to stay and complete my schooling here at mount vernon. the friends i made, the bond we shared, and the fun we had that last week kept me here.

3. (sophomore year) i probably made my best friend and had my best roommate this year. you know those people that you just seem to connect with? my roommate sophomore year was one of those people for me. he’ll be a life long friend. i’ll never forget our drives to and from church, singing gospel music together.

4. (sophomore year) sunday nights. that pretty much sums that memory up for anyone knowledgable of my life sophomore year. sunday nights will forever be some of my greatest memories ever!!! every sunday a few of us guys would go off campus to a couple of ladies’ place off campus and had smoothies, cookies, and rolls. every sunday, without fail, we had a blast laughing together.

5. (junior year) this was definitely the year of strange stories. i saw some of the weirdest/strangest things i’ll ever see in my life, things no human should ever have to witness. my roommate was/is the biggest freak i’ve ever met. i’ll never forget the laughy-taffy or the infamous toothbrush. (i only list one story because the others are completely in appropriate for children under the age of…..well they’re just inappropriate period haha, got to love college life.)

6. (junior year) late night study sessions for heritage were awesome. mel, garret, frye, sarah, and i had some of the best study nights of our lives. we were terrified for the following day of course. but we sure did have a blast the night before those terrorizing sanders’ tests.

7a. (first senior year)best overall apartment i’ve ever lived in. moving in with this group of guys was one of the best decisions i’ve ever made in college. the bond between the 6 of us all began with, you probably have guessed it, “the daily 212.” my apartmentmates and i (although i do believe it was my idea…a couple of them may debate that so i give credit to everyone) decided to write a note on facebook (which is similar to a blog) to see if people would respond to it. we wanted to prove that our school was so small that people had nothing else to do besides read and respond to a note that was strictly about drama inside of our apartment. so i wrote a note complaining about one of my roommates. about three days later there were hundreds of responses (it took around 70+ pieces of paper to print them all out) and the school asked us to take it down.

7b. (first senior year) so there are 12 memories here. so what?!?! it’s my blog i can add/subtract/count as many memories as i want. this one definitely needs to be mentioned: the pooping game, enough said.

8. (first senior year) my small group that second semester was awesome. it was short lived, only a semester long, but it really was what i needed during that time period of my life. whether it was discussion about life, telling funny stories, or having deep theological debate i was challenged in thought every time we met.

9. (second senior year) the national tournament in florida is definitely one of the highlights of my athletic career. spending a week playing soccer in a national tournament with the best team i’ve ever been on (in regards to talent and closeness) in florida was just terrific. i’ll never forget that week in the hotel with my teammates. i’ll never forget that semi-final game under the lights. on top of all of that, my mom and brother got to come watch the tournament. man, what a great great week that was. i’m getting excited just thinking about it.

10. (second senior year) her.

11. (every year) the worst/best memories i’ll have of college can be summed up in two words: growing pains. i’ve made a lot of dumb decisions. i’ve made some of the worst decisions of my life. i wish i could take several things back. however, my stupidity has revealed just how faithful and gracious god truly is. it may have taken me 4 1/2 years to learn some really big lessons in life, but god has been there for them all. god has cleansed me from them all. god is faithful; god is gracious; god is merciful; even when i am not. i’ve witnessed it over the past 4 1/2 years.

stillness

“guard your steps when you go to the house of god.  go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong.  do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before god.  god is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.  as a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words.” ecclesiastes 5:1 - 3

i will be leaving ohio, possibly for good, in a little less than two weeks.  i’ve frequently been engaged in prayer asking for guidance and wisdom in my decision making.  i’ve been praying for friends, family, my school.  i’ve prayed to god often recently.  i pray sad, frustrated, irritated, angry, and joyful.  yet, there are few times that i’ve simply prayed little to nothing.  i’ve been rushing in with requests, telling god what i desire.

this passage hit me like a semi-truck with a full load.  god is in heaven. listen to that statement once more.  there’s a god IN HEAVEN.  that’s crazy to me.  i don’t even know what that completely means, but there’s this awesome god who is creator of all that was, is, and will be.  his power and greatness moves far beyond my imagination.  with authroity he watches over all that is and allows “reality” to continue.  he can will things into existence.  he allows me the privilege to speak to him, and i rush in with requests and telling him what i want/think.  really?  is that how it works?  am i truly recognizing god for who he is? 

fear of the lord, reverence, being struck with awe seems appropriate, to say the least.  i hope to begin to approach god with an accurate understanding that he is god, and i am, well, i’m just me.  god is, like, wow he’s god.  i mean…can anyone really wrap their mind around god?  yet, i have so often been quick to make conversation with him as if he were simply a friend.  i do not mean to downplay god’s personalness.  i believe god is a friend, a dad, and many other endearing terms.  yet, i frequently, probably daily, forget that he is almighty, awesome god of the universe.

may your spirit instill a fear, a reverence of who you are within me.  may your awesomeness be overwhelming to me.  may i be reminded of your…well your  vastness, greatness, and any other term that is a pathetic attempt to describe just how grand you are.  you are god almighty.  may i approach you with silence.

from good to bad

grace baffles me.  it doesn’t make any sense.

“if i say to the wicked man ‘you will surely die,’ but he then turns away from his sin and does what is just and right - if he gives back whate he took in pledge for a loan, returns what he has stolen, follows the decrees that give life, and does no evil, he will surely live; he will not die.  none of the sins he has committed will be remembered against him.  he has done what is just and right; he will surely live.” Ezekiel 33:14 - 16

god grants forgiveness and grace to us.  if we turn from evil and toward goodness and justice, toward god, he promises to forget our sin; he promises us life. 

i’ve been thinking a lot lately about whether or not god, jesus are real to me.  the more i study and dwell on scripture the more i realize just how real this all is.  i realize how evil and wicked we humans are.  i also realize, though, how gracious and good our god is.  we are completely dependent on his goodness.  knowing that changes the way i choose to live my life.  it does not push me to a level of perfection, but it does begin to transform me from the inside out.

i just became aware that the above statements contain the words “i,” “me,” and “my” way too much.  it is through community that i begin to realize these truths.  it’s through dialogue with and being spoken to that my eyes are able to become aware.  it’s important to be engaged relationally in prayer, study of scripture, and fellowship of believers.

god become real to me.  continue to invade my life and the peoples’ lives around me in such a manner that you cannot be ignored.

the great delay

an extra weekend for me, learning to like coffee, talking, and being with her.  i couldn’t have asked for a better gift!

coffee and glass

i leave ohio, possibly for good, in a week and a half.  a lot of thoughts have been circling in my head because of it.  i hate to be a realist, but i’m thinking i will never see 90 - 95% of the people i’ve been living with here at school again.  it really makes you think about what relationships are the most significant, which ones i will miss the most. 

right now there is one specific relationship that i’m probably going to miss the most.  the words coffee and glass, to some, give away who that is.  it’s crazy how intimate some relationships can become.  even more than that, it baffles me that relationships can become a part of you.  most people would agree that humans are relational in nature.  we need and long for relationships.  i feel like i will be missing part of myself, in a sense, when i leave ohio. 

i’ve lived here for the past 4 1/2 years.  if the musical rent did their math correctly, that’s around 2,365,200 minutes of my life.  i don’t want to leave some people.  i want to have more coffee and glass moments.  i’m not 100% sure on whats going to happen to me in the near future, but i’m 100% sure that i want to spend them going to science buildings, coffee shops, parking lots, eating spam, finding the big dipper, and learning to…

confession

sin sucks man.  people have written books and have theologies explaining how awful sin and it’s consequences are, but when it really comes down to it, sin just sucks.  it has negative affects on SO many people.  it affects the sinner and all of the sinners’ relationships.  this thought is random and may seem out of place from my previous blog about the weekend (which i will get to eventually). 

reflecting on scripture, my own personal experience, and the experience of others today i realize just how awful sin is and just how entagled we can be in it.  lets try not to do it so much. (easier said than done i know).  i know that my last statement about not sinning has deep theological implications, but this is what i know: sin sucks and i don’t want to do it.  i don’t want to hurt myself or any of my relationships (which includes my relationship with god).  so holy spirit, whatever it is that you can do to help steer me away from sin, do it. 

this blog is random, possibly over simplified,  but it gets to the point.  reflect on how sin sucks in your life.  i’ve learned that confession of sin to other christians is key in moving away from it, in changing those evil and wicked behaviors.  that might be the first step for some to not repeating sinful acts.  i sin.  i do it way to often.  some sins seem bigger than others.  some seem more devestating than others.  regardless of the size though, it’s important to move away from it all.  confession of sin has been crucial to me (maybe catholics had something there, in fact it’s very biblical to confess sin).  it’s hard.  it’s not easy, but it leads toward change and transformation. 

p.s. sorry if you’re offended by the word “sucks.”  i couldn’t think of anything more accurate to what i wanted to say.

weekend

this past weekend was one of the best i can remember.  details will come soon.  there are some funny ones.  in fact, i saw what may possibly be the funniest thing i’ll ever see in my life this past weekend.  for now i must nap though.  the weekend, although terrific, was also tiring.  i think that just goes to show how great it was.

o praise the one…

there’s a song that has been in my head the past few days….

i hear the savior say, “thy strength indeed is small;
child of weakness, watch and pray, find in me thine all in all.”

chorus
jesus paid it all, all to him i owe
sin had left a crimson stain, he washed it white as snow.

lord, now indeed i find thy power and thine alone,
can change the leper’s spots and melt the heart of stone.

and when before the throne i stand in him complete,
“jesus died my soul to save” my lips shall still repeat

o praise the one who paid my debt
and raised this life up from the dead   
o praise the one who paid my debt
and raised this life up from the dead  

the song is titled “jesus paid it all” by kristian stanfill.  the chorus line that reads “sin had left (note that the word left is past tense, it doesn’t leave, it left, it’s over, it was, it is no more) a crimson stain, he washed it white as snow” reminds me of psalm 51, which i recently heard in a sermon by francis chan.  i am washed as white as snow.  i am currently, right now, in the present washed of all sin.  this song is a powerful reminder of that.  my “spots” are changed, i am white as snow, i am saved, my debt has been paid!!! praise god!  i love that the song isn’t just a reminder of what god has done for us, but also praises god for his graceful work.  “o praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.”  praise be to god for his goodness and graciousness.  what a beautiful, good god we serve.  praise him.  how comforting to know that we are utterly dependent on such a good, good god.