jig-jig-alo

i’m reminded of a childish game that some of my friends and i would play.  i don’t know if you could call it playing.  it was more or less a time to make ourselves look like complete morons and it be socially acceptable.  the “game” went a little something like this:

friend: “hey aaron”

aaron: “what?”

friend: “are you ready?”

aaron: “for what?”

friend: “to jig…”

aaron: “jig what?”

friend: “alooooooooooooooooooooo…..”

aaron: “my hands are high.  my feet are low.  and this is how i jig-alo (proceeds to do some sort of ‘dance’ move)”

i’ve been thinking about my future for the past few weeks.  i’ve been asked and have been answering those “same” questions in different form.  friend: “are you ready?”  aaron: “for what?”  i don’t know what i’ll be doing with my life two months from now.  but i’m pretty sure i’m ready.

i’ve found it very difficult to not have a relatively specific goal in mind for my life.  (sorry chris ahahaha).  i’ve recently been thinking that god will just allow something to fall into my lap.  i think he works that way sometimes.  i fully believe he opens doors that way sometimes.  but other times i think we need to knock before doors are opened to us.  i don’t think i’ve been knocking.  i need to begin to knock.  that starts by having some idea of what i want to do.  maybe god’s plan for my life isn’t set in stone somewhere.  maybe he’s giving me some freedom to make some decisions on my own.  heretical?  maybe.  but maybe not.  maybe it’s similar to that game that i played as a kid.  maybe god’s asking me if i’m ready and allowing me to choose any “dance move” or goal that is within reason for me to do.  who knows.  i’m going to start knocking on tons of doors though. ahahaha  so if i know you have any network at all involved with the “institution” of church, know that i’ll be getting in touch with you real soon.

“are you ready?”

yes i am.

 p.s. i know jigalo sounds like a word for a male ______.  but that’s just what we said in the game.  so please don’t take offense.

thank you carl jung

what the heck…thought i’d give it a try

intp - the “engineer”

INTPs are logical, individualistic, reserved, and very curious individuals. They focus on ideas, theories and the explanation of how things work. They are especially adept at discussions and debate. They have the ability to focus intently on a subject. They appreciate and respect intelligence in others.

some of my favorite intp’s include abraham lincoln, rene descartes, william james, charles darwin (don’t get pissed about this haha),  carl jung, and socrates.  at least that’s what the website said about them.  so i feel like i’m in good company.

christmas

so christmas will be officialy over in california in a few minutes.  it was one terrific christmas.  it was the first time in the past four years that i didn’t have to work on christmas.  i was sick, so couldn’t go in (something like that).  it was nice though, just to spend time with the family tonight.  living out of state limits the amount of time and holidays that i get to spend with them.

i also found today to be one of the more memorable christmas’ as of late.  i didn’t feel especially “christmas-y” this year.  i wasn’t surrounded by the songs, decorations, and overall spirit as i have been in the past.  i wasn’t even able to attend a christmas eve service, one of the largest church attending days in the country.  however, i was greatly reminded of how important and significant today is.

it isn’t that today is literally the day jesus was born thousands of years ago or that i don’t reflect on his birth other days throughout the year.  but this day is set aside especially for reflection on the greatest event in human history, the word becoming flesh. 

you ever have those moments when u recognize just how much you need and don’t deserve grace?  i had one of those moments last night.  usually those moments create a sort of saddened or depressed mood for me.  last night however it was a moment of joy.  yes, i, without a doubt, NEED grace.  there’s nothing joyous about needing grace.  it simply means that i don’t live up to a standard that i was created to, and i haven’t.  last night though, i wept out of joy because of today.  because today was the biggest reminder that i’ve been given grace through the birth of jesus.  god humbled himself to become flesh.  i could talk forever about how that concept baffles my mind, but i’ll save you from the rambling.

god became flesh because he WANTS to be in relationship with us.  the word became flesh  in order to extend grace to us.  today is marked on our calenders to remind us of that.  the word became flesh to extend grace to those who need it.  there’s nothing i could study, read, or think to clearly allow me to understand why today happened.  there’s only one thought that comes to mind.  god loves us.  he wants to be in relationship with us.  grace through the form of a child was given to humanity “today” in order to let us know we can be in right relationship with god.  wow!  i don’t why.  i simply and confident in that it’s true.  hope you all got to reflect on the significance of today.

p.s. i also got some pretty sweet gifts too .

strangers and meaning

so the other day something hit me.  there may be people reading my blog that i don’t know.  there may be people i know who read my blog that never say anything about reading my blog.  i wonder why.  i wonder what people think.  i’d encourage any and everybody to leave comments on their thoughts, even if those comments are left anonymously.

 anyway, it’s been quite some time since i last wrote on here.  i’ve been pretty busy between graduating, traveling home, working, and christmas shopping.  i have many thoughts that i want to write about.  hopefully sometime soon i’ll be able to catch up on typing them out.  here’s just one that’s been on my mind quite a bit.  our lives have meaning.

i’ve been trying to finish some books that i started from this past semeseter.  viktor frankl’s “man’s search for meaning” is the one that i’m currently finishing and processing.   the premise of the book is that man’s main motivation for his behavior is to find meaning in his life, in every situation that arises.  i’ll write more about this, but if this premise is at all true it will significantly impact my life.  if there is meaning in each and every circumstance in my life, wow.  doing homework, working at the hotel, conversating with my family, etc. all take on significant meaning.  even writing this blog takes on a new dynamic.  there is nothing in life that is “just _____” you fill in the blank.  i don’t “just write a blog.”  i don’t “just do homework.”  everything is important.  there is meaning behind it.  we just have to discover it. 

it’s late.  so i’ll try to finish some of these thoughts tomorrow.

alumni

yes i am.  well, i will be as of tomorrow.  i just turned in my last paper.  just completed my last final.  a free man i am.  well free from school .  i couldn’t be more pumped right now.

so what?

i think it was around my junior year in high school.  mike was doing a sermon.  i can’t remember exactly what he was talking about.  but he said something that will stick with me forever.  he was commenting on john 3:16.

“for god so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

he began to emphasize the power in the two letter word “so.”  he talked about how when great, awesome events happen in our lives we will use this word to help describe them. 

“the football game was SO amazing this past weekend.”

“your outfit is SO freaking sweet looking.”

“this pizza tastes SO good.”

“god SO loves me.”

isn’t that the gospel message?  god doesn’t just love us.  to say that he loves us just doesn’t quite do it justice.  god is SO in love with us that he sent his son.  there is nothing more powerful then recognizing that god of the universe is SO in love with me and with you.  it is so humbling and moving to know that such an awesome, amazing being as god is SO in love with us.  i mean, how’s it even possible?  i’m as wicked as the greatest of all sinners.  yet god in all his perfection, awesomeness, wonder, grace, and mercy wants to bestow his love on me.  and jesus tells us it’s not like he just loves you.  i can just imagine jesus talking to the crowds, “he’s SO FREAKING IN LOVE with each of you!!!! just accept it please. do you get it now??? he SO loves you and you and you and you, SO much.”  okay, maybe jesus didn’t use the word “freaking,” but do you get the point? 

he’s SO in love with you and i today, just as we are, right now.  sometimes it makes me feel as though i need to be perfect before i can accept it.  but that’s not what jesus says.  jesus, before he tells us to believe or to have faith, before anything else grants us god’s love.  god loves us first.  we just need to respond.  the love is ours right now, today, in this moment.  the real question is, what’s our response?

recently i’ve been experiencing this similar kind of feeling on a horizontal or human level.  i’m dating this girl who just seems to be all too amazing for me.  (side note: i’m not comparing her to god by any means.)  what i do mean is that she’s offering me “love” (well i guess the more appropriate term right now is “like” but that doesn’t fit with john 3:16 so i’ll substitute the word love ahaha) that i don’t feel i desrve because she’s so great and i’m so…well i’m so me.  it is so humbling.  to date a girl who is just so so so great and awesome, what one might consider too good for me is so humbling.  what’s my response?  man, i’m going after her.  i’m going to pursue until she says stop. 

my current dating situation reminds me, in a small way, of god’s love for me.  all too often in my life i’ve assumed that god loves me.  that thought has often become bland to me, how sad.  i get so excited and feel so humbled that hannah is interested in dating me.  yet i can sit here and talk about god of the universe, in all his perfection and glory loves and is interested in having a relationship with me and feel so bland.  is my response going to simply be a fleeting grateful thought?  is it in one ear and out there other? i hope not. though it has been at times.  i hope it’s the same response i have toward hannah.  i’m going after it.  i’m going to pursue god until he says stop.  i want to become so deeply in love with him.  i will not stop striving to be in relationship with my god.  i don’t know if i’ll be pursuing hannah in a month, depends on how quickly she gets bored with me (lol).  but seriously it does.  i know though, that god will not want me to stop pursuing him at anytime.  how exciting is that?

god is SO in love with us today.  let’s begin to pursue him like we pursue things of this world.  we get so excited and/or pursue with such dedication for football teams, national championships, girls, guys, good grades, working out to look good, good times, ______.  you fill in the blank for yourself.  but do you pursue and get excited about a relationship with god almighty who is SO in love with you.  he loves you and i today, right now.  so what are we going to do to respond?

212

i spent some time with brandon and ben tonight.  it’s been awhile since i had hung out with guys from my apartment last year (birch 212).  i was reminded of what a great decision it was to live with those 5 guys last year.  we shared laughs, tears, drama, class…we shared life together.  i miss all 5 of them.  true friendship is such a rare and priceless comodity now and days.  i made some true friends last year.  praise to god for that blessing.

strange

i was confronted today but the idea of god’s “hugeness” and my “littleness.” 

“god, the blessed and only ruler, the king of kings and the lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. to him be honor and might forever. amen.” I timothy 6:15 - 16

god, the king of kings, the lord of lords, the only ruler, the sovereign creator of the universe wants to be in a love relationship with me, and he wants to use me to help bring the world into relationship with him.  first thought that comes to my mind is, “what the?!?!?!”  does that make any sense to anyone?  almighty, perfect, all-powerful god of the UNIVERSE loves me and you.  the craziest thing about it though, i believe it.

i truly believe that god, the god of the universe loves me.  how can that not begin to change my life?  when you come across that kind of knowledge, life can’t help but be changed.  my prayer is that the reality of god’s deep, true, and passionate love to be in relationship with his creation becomes more real to me.  my prayer is that this truth become so real to me that i cannot help but be changed and transformed.  my prayer is that this truth becomes so evident to me that i cannot help but share it with others. 

god loves me, strange.  god loves you, strange.  god loves us.  so lets allow it to transform us.  lets allow it to radically change our lives.  who knows what will happen when this most humbling of truths becomes real in our lives. 

another late night

so i’ve stayed up pretty late the past few nights.  two nights ago i went to bed at 7:30 am.  i watched the sunrise before i went to bed.  last night i went to bed at 4:00 am.  the chris brown concert was fabulous, but it kept me out way too late ahaha.  tonight it looks like a 3:00 am bed time for me.

tonight was easily the most enjoyable of the three nights though.  two nights ago homework kept me up late.  last night it was chris brown (aka the prince of r&b…thats what they called him at the concert).  tonight she kept me up.  i love it when i get to spend time with her.  thanks for the company.

caps and gowns

i just picked up my cap and gown.  crazy!!!  graduation is really happening.  i feel “exi-ffied.” that’s my word combination for excited and terrified.  anyway, it’s good to have a symbolic reminder of the work i’ve invested myself into the past 4 1/2 years.  it’s nice to finally have this goofy cap and gown.

side note: i find it ironic that i’m wearing a cap in the chapel to graduate.  our school hates people covering their head in chapel.  wearing a hat in chapel is the ultimate sin and disrepsect at our school.  yet when we’re graduating they provide us with a type of hat or head covering.  whats the real reason to not cover my head with a hat in the chapel?  is it respect?  why do students complain about hat wearers in chapel but not about caps worn for graduation in chapel?  don’t mind this last little side note.  i’m just like to complain about not being able to cover my head with a hat or hood from my sweatshirt in chapel ahahaha.